advocates & articles
Time for a Cell Phone?
Dear Dr. Dellasega,
I can’t believe my nine-year-old, Carmen, wants a cell phone of her own! She insists everyone in her class has one, but her dad and I are opposed to her getting one so young. What is your opinion?
Maria
Dear Maria,
Although Carmen may think she is in the minority, in reality, most nine-year-olds do not have their own cell phone. This is, however, the time when many girls begin lobbying for one!
Although parents may feel more secure if their child has a cell phone, the trade-off is not only expense but possible bullying through text messaging, three way calling and other telephone sabotage. Girls are actually more likely to be involved in these behaviors than boys.
Of course, you have many options, and they all depend on what you and your husband decide, and what Carmen is like as a nine-year-old. Girls tend to vary greatly in maturity levels at this point, so consider these questions: Does she take care of her other belongings? Is she responsible with homework and household chores? Does she have positive relationships with friends?
If these things are true, have her do the research on different phones and calling plans and come up with a proposal and a timeline for acquiring a cell phone. You may decide to let her borrow one of yours, or try out a temporary phone to see how she does, or, if she constantly loses things and needs prodding and nagging to do her every day work, you might use the phone as incentive.
Regardless of when Carmen gets a phone, you and your husband should sit down with her and discuss the limitations on calls and text messages. You should also talk about the bullying issue, and have a plan in place for what will happen should she initiate problems or become targeted by others.
When’s the right time for a cell phone?
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