advocates & articles
Saying No to Friendly Temptation
Dear Dr. Dellasega,
My 10-year-old daughter, Keisha, has friends who are a bad influence. They do things she is not allowed to do and pressure her to join in. What should I do?
Jada
Dear Jada,
You don’t describe the things Keisha’s friends are doing, but the fact that you’re concerned is enough to give the issue some attention. See if you can identify specific things that worry you about her friends and rank those concerns in order of importance. If Keisha’s emotional and/or physical safety is at risk, it’s definitely time to take strong action.
Go out for a soda or snack together, and after talking about some neutral topics, share your list of concerns and ask for her input. It may be that she, too, is feeling uncomfortable with some of the behaviors you’ve seen. Discuss whether there are some things you don’t like but can live with (i.e., the music they play) and what things you find intolerable. Challenge her to think of other options for her to meet other girls her age so she can compare them to her current friends.
If Keisha is resisting peer pressure (as it sounds like she is), tell her how proud you are of her, and give specific observations of times when you’ve seen her not give in to her friends. Make sure to keep the dialogue open about friends and remember that you are likely to have more success easing her out of negative friendships than trying to end them abruptly.
What kinds of pressure does your girl face?
articles by subject
Here’s the full list of topics and articles our advocates have contributed. We’ll be adding more soon, so please check back.
School
Overly Competitive Team Sports
Dolls and Playtime
The Real Difference Between Boys and Girls
Friends, Family and Values
Saying No to Friendly Temptation
When Good Friends Are a Bad Influence
Emotional Health
3 Steps to Better Emotional Health
6 Easy Steps Toward Making Peace with Your Choices
