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Raising Charitable Children

By Jenny Friedman

Rich or not, almost all of us give money to charity. A 2001 survey by the Independent Sector found that 89 percent of all American families donate to charity, averaging 3.2 percent of their income. (In fact, families with lower incomes actually give away a larger percentage than wealthier ones.)

But we often write these checks sitting at a desk or at night at the kitchen table, and we seldom think to discuss our charitable giving with our children. Well, it’s time to let our kids know that all of us have a responsibility to share with those in need, contribute to causes we believe in and support the changes necessary to building a better world. Teaching kids about charitable giving, besides instilling compassion and community responsibility, begins a thread of kindness that can extend through generations. Plus, giving is fun and makes us feel good, no matter how much we can donate. Let your children share the joy. Here are some tips for making charitable giving a family affair.

Hold a family meeting to chat about charity. When your children are young, talk about which causes are important to you and why, and how you determine donation amounts. Later, let them have input into the decision. Explain that some charities use their money more effectively and responsibly than others. One family saves charitable solicitations they receive, puts them in a box and every few months sits down together to decide who deserves their money. Another family divides the money they’re donating among family members and has each person decide where to give their portion. Regardless of the strategy, begin teaching about sharing and giving early.

Make your giving meaningful to your children. Choose organizations with missions and programs your child can relate to. For example, a preschooler will be thrilled to donate to a local animal shelter, but may be confused about the purpose of Amnesty International. If the organization you support is local, visit it with your children or request information to see how your money is working. Other kid-friendly organizations to consider: Heifer International, World Vision or Defenders of Wildlife.

Encourage some sacrifice. Have each family member give up something in order to donate money to a charity you’ve agreed to support. For example, you might skip a dinner out or forgo your morning latte, then donate the savings. Your child might choose to give up candy or movies for a week or mow the neighbor’s lawn to earn money for charity. The idea is to sacrifice something of personal value — either time or money — for the good of the community.

Have grandparents help. Sometimes life gets too busy to remember to hand out the allowance, much less to help children decide how to allocate it. If grandparents are living nearby, it’s a responsibility they might enjoy taking over. Our elders bring a lifetime of money management experience and might have some wise words about investing, sharing and spending.

Match your child’s giving. Some families agree to match any contribution their child makes to a charitable cause. For instance, if your daughter donates $5 of her allowance to UNICEF, you can add an additional $5 or $10. This kind of agreement teaches kids by example.

Help start good-giving habits early. Most money gurus agree that children learn best when parents teach them to split their allowance into three (not necessarily equal) portions — one for spending, one for saving and one for donating. This helps make the idea of giving and saving a natural part of a child’s financial decision making. As for how the charity portion will be donated, will it be up to each child or will everyone’s money be pooled in a “family fund”?

Find teachable moments. Charity conversations shouldn’t be confined to a once-a-month family meeting. If a Greenpeace representative comes to the door, explain to your child why you did or did not contribute. When you’re sorting through the mail, discuss the charitable solicitations you receive and how you decide which ones to open and which to toss. Do you give money to people begging on your city’s streets? Explain why or why not. These are excellent opportunities to share your values and counteract the more dominant messages in our culture of materialism, consumption and greed.

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