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Kids and Materialism: Advice for Parents
Q. My children are students in middle school. I don’t know if this is because we live in a comfortable community, but they have become extremely label conscious. My younger daughter insists on buying only designer jeans that are incredibly overpriced, and my older daughter wants expensive pocketbooks and boots. When I suggest more reasonable alternatives, they both act as if they couldn’t possibly be seen wearing anything else! I know other parents who are upset about this materialism, too. In particular, I worry about the harm it may be causing them. What can we do about it?
If you’ve shopped at any stores that cater to tweens lately, then you know you’re in good company. Many kids in this age group become conspicuous consumers, much to their parents’ chagrin. However, it’s possible to get through these years without losing your mind — or your life savings. It’s helpful to understand what drives this materialism: two things, actually. The first is adolescence, which is all about figuring out an identity and forming a self-image. At this stage, top priorities are usually looking cool and fitting in. The second is marketers, who capitalize on adolescent pressures by targeting tweens and teens and encouraging their loyalty to prestige brands.
Magazine ads and TV commercials promise tweens that buying certain items will make them all the rage, irresistible and self-confident. How else would advertisers get teen girls, in particular, to spend 9 billion dollars annually on makeup and skin care products? So if your kids seem desperate for certain possessions, it’s not completely their fault. They’ve been convinced that this is the way to fit in and become more popular. The problem — besides your rapidly dwindling cash reserves, that is — is that tweens are encouraged to define themselves by their material possessions rather than through their personalities, talents and interests. They believe that their peers classify them by what they have — and don’t have. Unfortunately, in many schools cliques form according to the lines of the Haves and Have-Nots.
There is definitely something you can do about materialism. You can empathize with your kids’ desires to be trendy and accepted while also setting reasonable limits. Encourage fiscal responsibility by giving them a clothing budget and letting them make choices. Or ask them to make up the difference (with birthday money, babysitting proceeds or odd jobs) between what you decide is the maximum for an item and what their preferred brand costs. Also, it is especially wise to educate your tweens about the nature of advertising. They should understand why companies produce ads — and exactly what marketers are trying to get them to think. As you peruse a teen-oriented magazine with them, take turns pointing out the underlying messages. What are advertisers trying to get them to think — about themselves and their products? That way, they’ll be more resilient to manipulation and more skilled at choosing merchandise that they really like and think they need.
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